In the beginning of 2015, I was on track to start my MSc in September. I had accepted my offer at UCL and by May I was already looking for flats to move in to around Russell Square. I wasn’t even thinking about coming back to Nigeria because it wasn’t an option. Then all of a sudden, on a regular August afternoon, a few days before I was supposed to renew my visa, we decided that it was best if I came back to Nigeria for a year to do my NYSC. I applied for the deferral of my admission then started packing and I was on a British Airways flight headed to the Giant of Africa within 2 weeks. I decided to be hopeful. I adopted a positive attitude. I told myself that maybe this would be the best year of my life. Maybe, I’ll finally find love.
I graduated from secondary school in the summer of 2010 and left for college immediately but it wasn’t my first time living away from home. Like many Nigerians I started attending boarding school from Year 7. This meant that at the age of 16 when I left, I didn’t have to adjust to not living with my parents. It made no difference that I was in a separate continent with a completely new set of strangers; it was just another boarding school. It didn’t feel further away from home to me. Unlike my siblings, I have never really spent time at home anyway. I went away when I was 10 so I could go to school in Kwara state and then Ogun state and then I left Nigeria altogether. I was always the distant one who disappeared for months at a time only to come back for a few days then say goodbye again.
My dad feels like I have missed out on my religious and cultural education. He has now made it his mission to teach me about Islam and what it means to be a Fulani woman. This is what this year is about for him. Things are getting better now between us as we both acclimate to each other. Initially we fought about what times I could go out but our issues are dying down now, only because I have chosen to be obedient. Part of that is out of exhaustion for having to engage in emotional combat with him. And another part is because I feel guilty for going away and doing everything I was supposed to do, except graduate with a First Class degree.
What do I miss most? Honestly, right now, at this moment, it’s Five Guys. Most times it’s my freedom and sanity. It’s difficult living with a parent again but what’s more difficult is Nigeria in general. NYSC might be the worst thing to ever happen to me. It has been so shit. I can’t wait for it to be over. My advice to anyone thinking of moving back is: don’t. Not unless you’ve been working for years and you’ve saved up enough money to afford your own flat when you get here. Also, make sure you find a way to evade NYSC first. Okay, things are not nearly as bad as I’m making them seem. My dad and I are actually quite close. I just believe that your early twenties aren’t the best time to move back. If I could change things, I’d move back much later in life when I’d be ready to get married and settle down.