This post is for the culture and nothing else. No actually, it’s for the culture and the young boyfriends out there who never know when their Nigerian girlfriend is vexing for them. “You should know your girlfriend.” Yes you should know your girlfriend but then why bother learning about each and every girlfriend you have when some things are general? Enough. Enough! Highlighted below are some of the phrases you’ll hear your Nigerian wife to be say that show she’s most probably mad at you.
1.”Go and meet your girls”
Hohoho. This one means you’ve messed up for real cos now she doesn’t even want anything to do with you anymore. That Fola you’ve been talking to , better go and meet her cos your babe is on to you guys. This one is normally followed by aired messages when you try saying “No, you’re the only one.”
2. “Interesting”
Normal people’s interesting means you’re doing something interesting, your girlfriend’s interesting means she’s disgusted with the jargon you’ve just said but doesn’t want to come for you so she’ll drop this passive aggressive clue. If hit with “interesting” for your own sanity, just apologize and never bring the topic up again cos if you do, you don bash her car, Oyibo Repete!
3. “There’s no point discussing this anymore”
You’re assuming she’s come to terms with whatever madness you just told her, it’s a bloody lie. She’s still mad o. When Mayorkun said “Why you carry carry fire fire for your head o?” this is who he was referring to.
4. “Are you sure?”
This isn’t a question of confirmation when it comes from your Nigerian girlfriend. It’s basically her telling you what you’re suggesting is stupid but she won’t talk until you dare to do it and then she’ll treat your f*** up. If she asks, “Are you sure?” just reply “Nah! It was a joke.”
5. “Cool”
Cool simply means she has no other words for you. She’s fed up with your nonsense and it’s not really cool.
6. “Never mind”
Ha, please please and please, you better mind. This is another one from the passive aggressive playbook. Like when you say something and you think it means nothing and they try explaining to you how stupid what you just said is but you just don’t get it.
7. “So am I lying?”
L O L. Now, you’ve started chatting and mixing all the stories up and so therefore, you’re digging a hole for yourself. Also, your Nigerian girlfriend is never lying so check yourself or you’ll soon be single to stupor.
8. “That’s what you like abi”
Let me tell you exactly what happened. Some girl with a big backside walked by and like the pig that you are, your eyes lost composure and followed her. Your Nigerian girlfriend sees all obviously so she hits you with a “So that’s what you like?” and you’re mute.