We live in a society where sex is literally in your face and there is very little you can do to avoid it. It’s on social media, podcasts, the radio, T.V shows, everywhere. While most people are into it, not everyone is as sex-crazed. There are some people who are asexual.
What does this mean?
Asexuality can be defined as the lack of sexual attraction to others or low interest in sexual activities. In simpler terms, anything related to sex or sexuality ‘no dey shack you at all’. This means you can be romantic, but not be sexually attracted to others. Asexuality is not a choice, like celibacy or abstinence, rather it is described as a sexual orientation, something people feel internally.
Since asexuality isn’t a topic Nigerians discuss enough, we have come up with a list of signs to guide you. Here are five signs you might be asexual:
People do not turn you on:
You may find someone attractive, but not be sexually attracted. You can appreciate someone for being very attractive, admire their hair, eyes, or how smart they are but still not get turned on or aroused. Can you relate?
You don’t feel the need to have sex:
Have you ever thought to yourself that you could probably go your entire life without having sex with anyone? Then you could be asexual. Sex doesn’t interest you and you do it to please your partner and stop them from pestering you for it. Sex for you isn’t something that you usually initiate.
You zone out during sexual conversations:
You are probably asexual if you do not get the hype around sex and you cannot relate when your guy/girl is ranting about their dry spell. You get bored by sex scenes in movies. You find yourself changing the channel when the conversations on T.V or radio is about sex. To a large extent, sexual conversations don’t interest you.
You tolerate physical touch:
While you may not mind the occasional hugging and kissing here and there, you would prefer for things to not get more intense. Being asexual doesn’t mean that you are against bear hugs, but ‘make e no pass like that.’
You rarely develop crushes or buy into the idea of getting married:
You are not thrilled by the idea of relationships or even hookups like your friends, in fact, you do not see the need to fall in love and get married. You are more concerned about your career, your friends and, your family. Romantic love isn’t on your list of priorities. This might get you in trouble with our Nigerian Aunties, but they will be fine ‘jare’.
Identifying as asexual may make come off as strange or weird, it doesn’t have to be. Embrace it as your sexual orientation, and educate yourself about it. Remember, you are not alone. There are other asexual people too.