Breaking Free from the “What’s in it for me Mentality”

By Oyin Egbeyemi

What’s in it for me?

When it comes to the practice of religion, Nigerians appear to be very deeply rooted, with multitudes of people actively rushing out to their places of worship on Fridays and Sundays (and several other days during the week too). In fact, most of our conversations do not go by without reference to God or a passage from the Bible, which is not a bad thing. But given this, one would wonder why our nation is one of the most highly notorious for corruption on a global scale. Even from an intrinsic look into our everyday living, some behaviors of the average Nigerian make me wonder whether our religious practice has become such a huge socially acceptable fad that we compromise humanity for.

It is highly disconcerting to see Rolls Royce Phantom’s and Bentley’s drive down streets decorated with potholes, scattered with beggars and hawkers hustling to get whatever little change they can in order to feed themselves. It is also unsettling that we are now accustomed to driving around this environment everyday such that it has become the new “normal” both for the owners of these luxury cars and the people on the streets.

Bringing this down to my personal experiences, I have observed that around me, there is no real sense of a strong genuine community. I find that people tend to do things with the mindset of “What is in it for me?” be it financial gain, political affiliation, business connections, popularity or just being linked to certain people. Yes, by human nature, we build relationships because we seek mutual benefits. But how do we draw the limit where we just do things out of selflessness, without any expectations.

Here is an example:

I am a member of Toastmasters International, a not-for-profit organisation, which provides an environment where individuals build their public speaking and leadership skills. I was speaking to some people about the benefits I have personally gained from the club and invited them to attend a meeting. Someone responded, saying “I think I’m a pretty good speaker, so I may not gain much from the club.” I initially thought that was a fair response. But after spending some time thinking about it, I realised that this is one of the fundamental problems with us. You are a good speaker…great…why don’t you come along and share your greatness with people who are eager to improve their own skills. Again, it was not the person’s statement I had a problem with, but the attitude of “How does it benefit me?” Why can’t we have the attitude of “How do I provide some benefit to others?” And this stems down to many other aspects of our society.

Another good example that has really inspired me is one an Uncle of mine gave. He was invited to be the Chairman of a church harvest in a community, which was not very developed. By that invitation, there is an expectation to give a fat monetary donation to the church. But my Uncle thought “If I donate this money to the church, how am I sure of it would be used for the true benefit of the community?” So rather than making that donation, he visited the town, seeking their specific needs, then discovered a Polytechnic school where Computer Science was taught…. WITHOUT ANY ACTUAL COMPUTERS. Immediately, he gathered funds to equip that school with computers. The reaction he received from this gesture gave an indication that there actually was not much of an intention to aid the school in that way in the first place. So this really goes a long way because by doing what he did, he sought the specific needs of the community, which was to improve their educational standards. And who knows? This action could go on to produce some computer geniuses with Mark Zuckerberg or Bill Gates potential, and contribute to the benefit their lineage, community and country.

I know it is easier said than done, because many people do have the intention of doing better for others in our community. Some may be constrained by finances, some by time, others by resources. But I think we all have something to give. After all, 10% action is better than 100% intention.

Remember what John F Kennedy said during his inaugural address in 1961, “Ask not what your country can do for you – ask what you can do for your country.” Bearing this in mind, let’s get this “What’s in it for me” mindset out of our systems and take our communities and country to the next level.