Custodian Editorial: My First Time

As Nigerians I realised that we talk about sex with out really talking about sex. I’m not sure if it is because most of us grew up in religious households or the fact that our society is extremely conservative. But one thing is we don’t talk about it honestly. It tends to be an emotion less conversation or we’re just not willing to talk about it full stop. We are what you’d call prudes. You don’t think so? Ask someone you know about their first time and see how quick they are to shut you down. Before you come at me I’m well aware that this is a touchy subject for most people. But how do you address an issue if no one is willing to talk about it? It was extremely difficult trying to get people to write for this series at first. I begged and pleaded, told them it was anonymous and they were still not moved. Some of the reactions I got were absolutely priceless. I spent a lot more time laughing than actually getting any yes’.

While listening to J Cole’s Wet Dreamz a thought popped into my head “This is a song most people can relate to”. It was an ‘honest’ and funny insight into the whole my first time experience from the male perspective. So the song gave me the idea to start a “My first time” series because no one has a perfect story. It’s important to know that. It’s also okay to regret it (you would be surprised how many people do). It’s also important not to linger on it because you can’t change it. You can however make every other experience after that more meaningful. Most importantly it can’t be prefect because it’s new territory. The awkwardness is normal, it’s a rite of passage. When has life ever been perfect? The thing about not waiting is that life happens, you meet people, you grow up and you make your own decisions. This series is taking an honest look at people’s ‘first time’ without judgement because you never how your story might resonate with someone.