Diary of a Pretty Girl

All my life I’ve had to play detective. I have had to differentiate between guys that genuinely care about me and those that just want to get with me. Sometimes it’s not even because they are trying to play me. Sometimes, it’s just that I’m trying to save a guy from himself. Don’t leave your girlfriend for me, what you feel is lust and not love. So Yes, this is a post about how pretty I am and how I suffer in life.

I am tired of having to protect myself. I want to believe someone when he says he cares. I want to believe someone when he says she doesn’t mean anything… I’m so tired of being pretty. I’m so bored of walking down the street with that guy feeling the need to hit on me or some guy walking around like he owns me because he’s done this or that. Then, there are those guys who feel like they need to protect me when they are the exact people I need protection from.

I am tired of being called a snob because I can’t give my attention equally to guys who want to…… I am tired of being put on a pedestal or being treated like pretty is all that I am.  “You shouldn’t kick box, what if someone hits your face?” I am tired of people trying to live their fantasies through me saying “If you just did this, you would be perfect” “If I was you, I would…”  I do not owe anyone my pretty. I am not the girl that you need to mark off your list or the escape you need from your girlfriend. I also have feelings and won’t be running through a list of guys when you hurt me.

I don’t find it flattering when you see me walking in and automatically feel you have to get me. Don’t tell me I will be your next girlfriend or the mother of your kids. What you are doing is straight up robbing me of everything else that I am. Before you know it, you’ve been called pretty enough times that you feel you have to be pretty. You have to work hard to keep up to this tag that people have placed on you and when they ask (tell) you “What did you do to your hair?” or “I prefer your hair that way” you feel the need to explain yourself. I should not have to apologize for being this fine or for wanting to look nice. I hear comments like “I could never get my hair to stay like yours, I just don’t have the time”.  Is that when I am supposed to say “Sorry I am busy and I still look pretty”.

The funny thing is, I am writing this post as I sit in a Health and Safety lecture. The lady is talking about how there is no such thing as ‘toilet infection’ and no one can give it to you as it stems from your own toilet hygiene. She goes on to say “It is usually the pretty girls with long hair and make up that are quick to blame it on toilet infection.” Thank you Dr Mrs for fueling my rant.

And this quote by McKean has been on my mind lately;

“You don’t have to be pretty, you don’t owe prettiness to anyone. Not to your boyfriend/spouse/partner, not to your co-workers, especially not to random men on the street. You don’t owe it to your mother, you don’t owe it to your children, you don’t owe it to civilization in general. Prettiness is not a rent you pay for occupying a space marked “female”.

And as you’re reading this, you’re probably thinking “How pretty can you really be?” but I do not have to justify my pretty to you either.

Don’t call me pretty, that is not my name!