My First Time 2.0 #10

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Poster for the second edition of Culture Custodian's yearly feature, My First Time

Growing up, sex was always a very sacred notion to me. However, this view subsided over the years as I watched the people closest to me have their own sexual experiences with strangers, their friends and people they were supposedly in love with. In majority of these cases, the females ended up getting hurt and based on these surrounding encounters, I was determined not to have any regrets in regards to losing my virginity.

By the age of 21, I had graduated from university and I was convinced that I would either lose my virginity to someone I cared about or a random stranger on a night out. However, I could not bring myself to hooking up with someone who would be regarded as a stranger afterwards.

I moved back to Nigeria and within two months, I started seeing someone. We were together 24/7 (we practically lived together) and I grew extremely fond of him. We would fool around but never have sex and often times he tended to express how much he wanted to but I always told him I wasn’t ready because I did not want to regret or end up hating the person I lost my virginity to.

About five months into our relationship, I got drunk with him and confessed that I was ready and told him to take me then and there (cringe). He did not take advantage of the situation and the morning after we discussed it. I was mortified by my drunken antics but after a couple of days I said “you know what? F**k it”. I was completely comfortable with him at this point in our relationship, so we did the deed.

It wasn’t painful but it felt extremely weird, like there was something in there that wasn’t supposed to be IN THERE. After about four attempts, I became accustomed to it. Five months down the line, we ended our relationship on a very sour and awkward note.

I placed way too much value on my virginity and in as much as saying I regret it would be harsh, I often wonder whether losing it to a stranger would have been an easier way out.

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