If I were to describe my first time, I’ll call it embarrassing. This is really awkward to describe because now that I think of it, I’ve never properly spoken to anyone about my first time. Probably because no one cared. Basically, I was a young promiscuous baby boy. I think I was 16 at the time. I’d just turned 16. There was a lot of pressure in my mind to do it as most of my peers had were sexually active. In my mind, it was going to be a big romantic ordeal with my girlfriend at the time (we had broken up quite recently before the ordeal I am describing). The break-up was quite a tough time for me as she was my first girlfriend. We had been on and off for two years with so many plans and chances when we could have done it but it never happened and from that moment I never thought about it again.
I was moving to the UK that September to start my A-Levels so I had reluctantly accepted that it would have to happen once I had made this significant life change. I knew most of the kids at my new school would have already lost theirs so it worried me a bit that I would be that awkward guy in the group that was still a virgin. I would have been honest about my past and that would have given me a sort of security shield against the banter that could have come with still being a virgin. I’m getting off topic now so let’s get back to the point. There was a girl I was friends with at school and we had a bit of a history over the past two years – lets refer to her as ISIS. We used to hook up casually in the time we knew each other and these meetings would consist of everything but sex really – some touching, oral, kissing. You know the deal I’m not about to go 50 shades on this thing. One day during the summer, I had made plans to meet a good friend of mine at ‘The Palms’ at about 3.30 in the afternoon. I was ready at about 12.30-1.00PM and I wanted to leave the house because I was bored so I thought “Hmm… why not hit up ISIS and see if I can get my flute played before I hit the Palms?” Yeah I used to get very anxious on the road at the time because my driver was a maniac so some stress relief wouldn’t hurt. I was 16 so I was basically ready to go all the time.
My intention was to go to her house, get her in her bra and panties and do the usual things we normally did; a bit of touching and kissing and getting my flute played, but this time things worked out a little bit differently. We were in the middle of doing naughty things, you know, she was playing the trumpet and I was awaiting my euphoria when suddenly she stopped and said “We should do it” and I was like “Do what?” and she replied “You know… have sex”. At this point she kind of caught me off guard and I had no idea what to do. I was really nervous because I never hessspeddded it.
I didn’t think the opportunity would arise so randomly. I had always hoped it would be something I could have planned and made romantic, but then again, this was an opportunity on a plate: it had demanded no work. I tried to fight the temptation so I could have a romantic experience like I had always imagined but eventually I gave in. Ironically, I had tried to have sex with this girl a few months before and I had been prepared with condoms and everything but she wasn’t interested so I left the condoms at her house and left. So this time I’m trying to use lack of condom as an excuse but she said “Nah just pull out it’ll be fine” and I was like “Okay then”. So she pulled down my jeans and my boxers to reveal the monster and she proceeded to place herself upon it. It was a weird feeling for me because I honestly didn’t know what to expect but still I thought “this is cool”. She then forced me to change position and get on top and at this point I didn’t last very long. This must have lasted about 10 minutes. I felt myself succumbing to the inevitable so I pulled out and basically gave this girl a shower of young soldiers. I was so embarrassed. I went to the toilet and cleaned up and handed her a tissue so she could do the same. I felt emasculated. She wasn’t a virgin so this was all normal to her.
I came back and sat on a chair in her room some distance from her bed because I had no idea what to do only for her to say “I want you to go again”. This girl was theatrical with it. I was thinking “Chai God what have I done. Why has this fate befallen me today? I don’t have this type of energy, I don’t do sports.” I said to her “Listen I won’t be able to get it up again after that” and she said “I’ll take care of this”. She put on some raunchy Ying Yang Twins song called Pull My Hair. She went down on me again. Somehow, it got me going and before I knew it I was behind this babe doing it again. It was crazy, but this time I couldn’t finish because it was honestly out of my system. She got what she needed (to my amazement) and we called it quits. We spoke for bit about the experience as she wanted to make sure I wasn’t regretting it and I convinced her that I didn’t and I left her house. For the record we didn’t use a condom which was a stupid thing to do but thankfully, there were no consequences in this instance.
I did regret the ordeal immediately afterwards because it wasn’t what I had imagined, but as the day went on I started to feel a sense of bravado and pride that I wasn’t going to be the awkward virgin in my new group of friends in England. I’ve never been one to regret the past so I don’t regret my first time at all. If it hadn’t been that way or never happened who knows how things might have been different for me now. I ended up sleeping with the same girl again 2 years after this event and enjoying it properly so I have no hard feelings. Losing your virginity might not necessarily be what is made out to in romantic films, but this isn’t necessarily a bad thing