Every week, Culture Custodian talks to Nigerians who share tidbits about their lives. Today, we have four Nigerians telling us about their heartbreak experiences:
Lucia, 26
There was this guy I was dating for three years. He was my college sweetheart and we were madly in love. Everything was going fine till I started noticing some mild changes in him. He stopped calling as much as he used to and would complain when I called him saying I called too much. I went home for the Christmas holiday and this guy didn’t pick my calls throughout. He called on New year’s eve to break up with me saying he wants us to start the new year on a fresh note. It was so painful. I cried so much that I even lost weight. I went back to school only to find that the girl he was currently seeing was the one he had been referring to as his church member. That was the height of it. I felt so hurt and stupid. Till today, I have issues with guys that have female church friends.
Mariam, 25
I met this guy in 2015 when I got into the university. He was my first boyfriend. The way he looked out for me and pampered me was so nice. Our families quickly got to know each other and we even exchanged gifts during the festive as inlaws. I ignored so many red flags and guys who seemed more genuine because of my feelings for him. For one, he wasn’t good with school and skipped classes a lot. Soon, his unseriousness started rubbing off on me. One time I found out he had sex with my roommate when I was sick, I confronted him and he hit me. His cousin asked me to leave him but I didn’t listen. The straw that broke the camel’s back was when I travelled to see my sister in Yola, only for me to get back and find him with another babe. To make everything worse, he introduced me as his ex. I was so shocked. I cried for a long time and even tried to see if we would work things. After a while I let it go because there was no point. Looking at it now, all I can say is love is stupid.
Chima, 28
I was dating this girl I was desperately in love with. She was aware of how much I loved her and we had made marriage plans together only for this girl to go to NYSC camp and stop picking my calls. She claimed she was depressed because she was posted to a rural area but it was more than that. After some time, she came out clean and told me she was tired of the relationship. She said she felt choked. I felt terrible because I had already planned my life with this girl but I braced myself and moved on. When she came back from camp, she started crying that she was going through a rough time and she just needed some time off from the relationship. I still loved her so I accepted her back but something was just off. She made excuses whenever I wanted to have sex with her. This went on for some time until one day I decided to check her phone while she was sleeping and found out she was sleeping with my friend. That was the end of that relationship.
Sophia, 24
I met this guy during my cousin’s wedding. My perfect kind of guy. Good-looking with money to go with it. We exchanged numbers and started chatting on Whatsapp. The conversations were so nice, he would ask me about my day and we would gist for a long period of time. After a while, we started dating and he was taking frequent trips from work to come to visit me in Lagos. I was bored one day so I started going through his Facebook comments only for me to see “You’re looking good, your wife is taking care of you.’ I thought my eyes were playing tricks on me but I quickly went into detective mode. I started searching his Facebook properly. My search led me to his brother’s page where I saw my boyfriend’s wedding pictures. When I confronted him, he claimed it was his brother’s wedding. I told him to stop lying and he finally confessed that he was married but he wished he had met me before his wife. I couldn’t believe I had fallen for a married man.
This article is based on real-life events. Names used are mere pseudonyms to protect the identities of the individuals mentioned in the article.
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