Every week, Culture Custodian talks to Nigerians who share tidbits about what it’s like to live in this country. This time, we have four people sharing their crazy Lagos Nightlife experiences with us. Here is what they have to say:
It was December 2019, and I was determined to live my best life. I hit up my buddies, whom I knew would be up for the job. We started with pre-drinks at a bar. We were tipsy in no time. I started talking to some babe I met there. She hinted at a quickie in the restroom and I followed. I had never done that before. We chose the men’s restroom because I believe no gentleman will see us in such an act and raise an eyelid. The entire experience was pleasurable because we were under the influence. After a while, we decided to clean up and go outside. The door seemed stuck. I tried to call my buddy, who was also in the club. His phone line rang, but he didn’t pick up. I think I was there with the babe for almost an hour after we had had sex before someone came in to let us out. I was wondering why nobody had entered the restroom for that long, only to realize that EFCC had entered the bar to raid for fraud boys and they had picked up all my buddies. I was mortified at such profiling, even more bewildered about what to do next.
It was my friend’s wedding eve, and we preferred a modest but intimate location for the pre-celebration, so we chose a miniature club we knew nothing about the club in the heart of Ikeja. We bought drinks and fooled around until some people came into the club. As soon as I saw them, I could immediately tell that they were coming to cause trouble. The guys who were causing the loudest noise were on the other side of the room. One of them stood on the table, brought out a gun and started causing so much commotion. It appeared to be some kind of cult, and the guy seemed to be their leader. People were staring because no one knew what was happening. The man with the handgun started running around the club, pointing the gun at people. Everyone was scared and needed to escape but these guys had the exit blocked, so we had to stay put. . My friend, the bride, started crying. This went on for close to 10 minutes until they all walked out of the club. The rest of us screamed and ran out immediately after. We found out later that the owner of the place was a cult member and they had these activities every year.
I had not been out in ages so I went to a bar in Victoria Island. I got there and started drinking while waiting for my friend to show up. Security personnel approached me and said his boss would love to have a word with me. I declined because men on this side of town have a habit of catcalling ladies or profiling them to be sluts. My friend eventually showed up. We fooled around, made jokes and drank until we decided it was time to retire. As I drove up to the expressway, I saw a car overtake mine and immediately block my way. At first, I thought it was robbers because it was 2 AM and a lonely road. It turned out to be the same guy from the bar. He walked up to my car and requested again that I talk to his boss. The boss walked up to my car, started asking questions about me, then eventually requested my number. I refused to give him because I was already upset. When he saw he wasn’t getting favourable answers; he made a remark that we would see again. His Personal Assistant walked up to me and handed over a new phone. They got into their car and drove off.
I know we are in a pandemic but I was bored and needed to have fun so I went to eat at this restaurant on the Island. I had often thought that going to places like that would make me feel young at heart. I was enjoying myself until someone’s dad decided I caught his eyes. He made them move his food to my table and sat at my table. He was speaking non-stop, which was stressing me out. I tried to be polite, ate my food, and was ready to leave. He insisted on me sitting and continuing the conversation with him. I was feeling so uncomfortable so i texted my friend to please come to the restaurant and get me. I wanted him to act like my boyfriend; he arrived in about 15 mins walked up to my table, muttered a curse word; he knew the old man; it was his dad; I wanted the ground to open and swallow me because I might have caused world war 3. I ordered my taxi, thanked him and apologized before I left.
Would you like to share your story with Culture Custodian? Kindly send an email to email@example.com