Nigerian Lives: 5 Nigerians Talk About Adult Birthday Celebrations 

Everyone has a birthday, and deep down, most people just want to feel loved on this special day. In childhood, the responsibility of birthday celebrations typically fell to parents, who often went to great lengths to make their children feel appreciated. However, as the years progress and children transition into adulthood, the dynamics shift. Parents gradually step back, and the onus of celebration falls upon the individual. 

Culture Custodian talked to 5 young adults about how they celebrate their birthdays now compared to when they were younger. 

Nimi, 23

When I was small, it was my parents’ thing to celebrate me. And because we weren’t rich, I couldn’t have a cake every year, only major ones. But there were celebrations like special fried rice at home and church Thanksgiving where they’ll buy me new clothes. My dad used to write handwritten notes on birthday cards for me as well and I mostly only got gifts from my parents. Growing up, I struggled a bit with accepting gifts from other people until I unlearned it. I remember for my 16th someone was gonna give me a cake but it just felt wrong to take it. Since I started celebrating my birthday at 20, it’s been a ball because I’m intentional about it, I save ahead of time and everything is budgeted for in detail from hair to makeup, shoot, and dinner gift for myself just so I’m not sad on that day. It’s really one day that’s truly mine and I don’t play. Still waiting for one birthday where I don’t have to worry about a thing though.

Judith, 20

When I was a kid my mum used to celebrate my birthday. They were small celebrations, just cake, drinks and pictures. I really liked it, it was fun. But now, that doesn’t happen anymore. I don’t even celebrate it again, and it mostly feels like a normal day. I miss birthday celebrations when I was a child. Maybe when I start making my own money, I’ll celebrate it the way I want.

Iho, 22

Backstory, I have a younger sister who is only 2 years younger than me, and was born 3 days after my birthday. Growing up, I never had a separate birthday celebration because our parents just wanted to cut costs while celebrating both of us at the same time, on her own birthday. So my birthday was never a celebration, just a happy birthday with no gifts. But on her own birthday, they would do the whole celebration, buy a cake, and say it’s for both of us (and I would just be there like but it’s not my own birthday). It went on like that even in my teenage years. My birthday was never about me, and it made me feel unseen. 

The first time I celebrated my birthday myself was in 2022, and it was just me and 2 of my closest friends. I couldn’t get a cake because I didn’t have money to but we went to ICM to just hang out and get ice cream. I insisted I would not have it celebrated on another day and that even if all I could do was go out to do window shopping, I would do it as long as it was on the birthday itself. This year, I couldn’t have my birthday celebrated on the day itself and I battled so much with the thought. I felt like I was letting my childhood repeat itself by not celebrating my day, but after sitting with myself I’ve finally realized that it’s less about the day and more about the celebration of myself. Growing up has helped me appreciate the fact that I can be celebrated for being alive and that birthdays are truly worth celebrating every year, even if the celebration is just me buying myself a gift.

Great, 22

I can’t remember what it was like then, but I remember looking so cute and sassy at school. I gave everyone gifts. My mom bought a mug to give to my classmates and people I liked outside my class—teachers, or kids in the next class whom I felt were friendly to me. Birthdays as a kid weren’t overwhelming but felt nice.

As an adult, my deepest sigh — hehe. I didn’t have an amazing 22 this year but I look forward to 23. It feels like the year I’d celebrate life, I have shown up for myself consistently for 6 years. 23, feels like a demonstration of God’s love for me and love for myself onwards.

Ibukun, 19

So when I was younger, my birthdays were fun. Basically, my parents would buy a whole chicken, and I would get the biggest piece, it was special because I was a child.  I would buy things to share with my friends in school, have friends over, and maybe get a cake. The 2 birthday celebrations that meant a lot to me and I’ll never forget were my 15th and 10th birthdays. My 10th birthday was a very big party,  I had 3 changes of outfits, 2 big character cakes, a lot of friends and family, and party packs, it was a lot, to be honest. It was so fun, my cousins came all the way from Lagos to Ibadan and even slept over. I had the time of my life.

In recent years, I would not lie that things haven’t changed.  Not like they don’t celebrate it any longer it just feels different.  The moment I realized this was when I ate Amala and Ogbono for my birthday. Don’t get me wrong, amala and Ogbono is great food but just very different. What happened to me getting the bigger piece of chicken? I started to feel nobody even got excited for my birthdays anymore, me inclusive. Maybe they just expected me to outgrow it and face real-life issues. I can’t even complain because I’m an adult now.