A lot of people have gotten high at one point in their lives. While some get away with forgetting their worries and simply having a good time, others end up doing funny, embarrassing, or wild things. From straight guys making out with each other to crawling home, 5 people tell us the craziest things they have done while intoxicated.
It was towards the end of 2018. That week, my guys and I enjoyed a lot of weed. By this time, our tolerance level had gotten high so we decided to scrap weed and buy alcohol. We were in the mood for bad bitches and trouble. I invited the babes and my guys got the alcohol. We invited the ladies thinking we were going to have fun and all. At a point, I think the babes realized that we wanted to smash so they found an excuse and left. My guys and I chilled together and finished the alcohol. We agreed that’s how the day will end. We got so drunk by the time we slept off. In the middle of the night, I had forgotten that the babes had left. In my head, the person beside me was a babe. In my guy’s head too, the person beside him was the babe he invited. I felt him touch me and I thought it was the babe so I leaned in. I was trying to caress my guy when I realized his ass was too hard to be a babe’s. Due to the alcohol, I didn’t think much of it. Throughout the whole session, my eyes were closed until we got to a point where I turned to kiss the ‘babe.’ We kissed and I placed my hand on his face which is when i realized the person I was kissing had beards. He came to the same realisation as he touched my face and we opened our eyes to discover that we are kissing ourselves. The next morning was awkward.
It was 200 Level in the University of Lagos, a typical Friday night of hanging out with my boys. We decided to visit our regular slush (slang for punch) joint around the Faculty Education just to get drunk. Usually, I would take only a cup of the drink because the mixture of alcohol, codeine, tramadol and weed is extremely intoxicating. However, I decided to go beyond my drinking limit on this particular night. It was a wild night and I wasn’t the only one pushing limits; about two other friends got stupid high too. The hangout ended with my friends dragging my ass back to our hostel because I had temporarily lost my sanity and didn’t know what exactly was going on around me. Most of the things I remember from that night are from what my friends teased me for. We got back to the hostel and I tried to get some sleep but I started throwing up profusely, messing up my mattress and the entire room. I was helped out of the room by one of my closest friends who took me to the bathroom, got rid of my clothes and helped me take a shower. Done with my shower, my friends decided I needed to spend some time in the corridor so I can get some air. They hadn’t left me there for more than a couple of minutes when some random guys who stayed in our hostel walked past and decided to make fun of me. I got triggered and decided to “change it for these guys” but I could barely stand on my feet. During the altercation, my friends showed up and it became a full-on tussle in the corridor at about 2 AM when everyone else in the hostel was fast asleep. The night ended with security officials bundling us to their unit for disturbing the peace. It remains one of the wildest nights of my life.
I have gotten high a couple of times in my life but this night takes the cake. One night during my time at the University of Uyo, I got intoxicated and texted a female friend in Calabar. I found out she was hanging out with her friends that Friday night so I got into the car with my guy and we drove down. I don’t remember how we got there since I was wasted but we made it safely and managed to take the girls out. The rest of the night was a blur but I still can’t believe that I drove a car from Uyo to Calabar while intoxicated and nothing happened.
In 2016, I smoked a different strain of weed at the gatehouse. I got high as fuck and I was trying to get back into the house. My brother came back and saw me trying to crawl through the entrance door on my back like a snake but in my mind, I was simply walking. This went on for like 30 minutes, I think. He took me inside, made eba and forcefully fed me. I had milk later too. It helped calm me down.
I was in my parlour at home making beats on FL studio. I just wanted to get high and didn’t want to smoke in the house so I fried some weed with eggs and ate it with bread. I don’t know what happened. I lost my train of thought. Next thing I knew I found myself on the floor begging God and promising never to smoke again if he took the high away.
*This article is based on real-life events. The names used are mere pseudonyms to protect the identities of the individuals mentioned in the article.
Nigerian Lives is a Culture Custodian weekly series where we hear from Nigerians who share tidbits about their experiences. It goes up every Monday.
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