Nigerian Lives: Love Made Me Do It 

In the waning days of February, love continues to permeate the air around us. Unlike fear, which paralyzes, anger that blinds, and joy which elevates—love possesses the power to completely rewrite the rules by which we live our lives. The phenomenon is as ancient as humanity itself: people suddenly crossing boundaries they once deemed impenetrable, all in pursuit of that intoxicating connection with another soul. What is it about love that compels us to abandon our carefully constructed personas and venture into territories of vulnerability we’d otherwise avoid?

Culture Custodian spoke to five individuals who shared the extra lengths they’ve gone to in the name of love. 

Paschal

I was in a certain relationship in 2019. Long distance actually, we were in different schools. I was in 200 level, and her birthday was two days to go. I was broke. I wanted to give her a very nice gift, even though she told me not to bother. It didn’t feel right. I was initially going to ignore and perhaps chill till I got some money. The night before her birthday, one of her “toasters” sent a box that had pieces of jewelry, cake, balloons, etc. I was gutted when she told me. She asked if she should return it or not.

That’s how I went to borrow from one of these loan apps. But this wasn’t the craziest part. They only lent me like 10k (it was my first time). I planned to outgift that dude. Fortunately or unfortunately, my mum sent me another 10k (to buy food), but it still wasn’t enough. I now came across some “fixed game” betting channels on Telegram, and they told me a game was 20k. So I used the entire 20k to “buy” the code. Then I had like 2k left with me, which I used to play this game. I even borrowed more from my friend to increase my winnings. 

In short, I was scammed. I slept hungry that night and struggled for two weeks straight, and most of the money I got later, I used to pay back the loan. I also couldn’t buy a gift for her. Not even something as cheap as a recharge card. I did not buy anything, and I couldn’t tell her what happened. We later broke up.

Ayo

When I got an iPhone 7 in 2019, I gave my boyfriend my 6s for free. I just realized I didn’t sell it or anything. Also spent a lot of money on him. I used to send him money for different stuff, food, 3 times when he was arrested (he was with weed once and other times with guys who had weed on them, he had recently started smoking then) Oh, and that 6s I think he ended up selling it to get something else for himself. Other things happened that I can’t even admit. 

Tade*

I took flowers and ointments to someone I was with as a show of goodwill. It’s nothing extravagant until you realize this person had just cheated on me, told me they weren’t gonna be caught off their fling, and I was trying to work things out. We were gonna go on a date. I was dressed in a tux, and she showed up to our rendezvous location in sweatpants and polo.  I almost died, and it took years to get over that experience, but we live on.

Alex*

The craziest thing I’ve done for love is I paid a woman’s school fees and accommodation despite us not dating, and I was starving. She was someone I had liked for a long time, and I would move mountains and shift tectonic plates for her. I paid for her every inconvenience and did everything to make her happy. Calls, texts, money, gifts, love, and care. I was even sponsoring her family at some point. My existence disgusted her, imagine. Character development. 

Anabel*

I knew this guy was cheating, but I couldn’t leave him. I would still go to his house, cook, and do wife duties. When I think about it now, I think it might have been jazz. Because why? I have no idea, but it made sense to me at that time. He paid for everything I needed, and I felt it was normal for men to be polygamous. But as long as I was his first choice and the rest were side chicks, everything was good. It all came crashing down when he brought another woman to the house. Men can’t be trusted. 

Some names have been changed to protect the identities of the responders