Your One-Stop Guide To Navigating Dating Apps

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Dating apps are the revolution we didn’t realize we needed. Seriously… Take all the new words you’ve added to your vocabulary, for one. God knows “whelming” is not something you just pick up from sitting in your office for 8 hours. On the other hand, there’s the fact that the more slang we speak, the more we retreat into the Millenial Bubble where we’re all struggling to out-do each other and every other person who isn’t in our age-group is confused AF. We’re in Nigeria after all and we all know that no matter how cool we get, we still tell our mums that AF means Always Fresh. And if you find that funny, please go ahead and tell your mum the real thing.

While dating apps may not be your thing, all the social interactions that go on there make it a perfect pool for new lingo. When the words and phrases are too suggestive or implied, they are repurposed for other less intimate social relations. Dating apps and online hubs move so quickly these days, and here’s our guide to helping you stay on top of trends. Impressing your new girlfriend is sure for you this weekend, and if it isn’t well, let’s just say you won’t be the one looking into the Bubble when your friends are chatting in slang.

Ghosting

This is when a date disappears after weeks of texting and interaction. You’ve been ghosted, love. He didn’t die.

Orbiting

Liking someone’s social media posts without actually knowing them or any previous interaction.

Submarine Dating

Ghosting a person and resurfacing later.

Ostrich

This person will block you if you don’t respond to a message within 24 hours.

DTR

Literally means “Define The Relationship”. After weeks or months of circling around each other, like vultures on a carcass, DTR is that inevitable moment of truth.

Breadcrumbing

Also Known As “the lowest form of digital communication” and “the worst dating trend ever”, breadcrumbing is when you lead someone on endlessly by fueling their fantasies. The word “Flirtationship” was also coined from this trend.

 IRL

Literally translated as “In Real Life”. This is the moment of the grand reveal after an initial online connection.

Zombieing

Apparently, there’s a new low after Ghosting.  Zombieing is returning after a vanishing act and picking up from where you left like nothing happened.

Slow Fade

It’s actually quite laughable how inventive people get. So like the sound effect of a slow fade in music, Slow Fade is when the conversation or connection is gradually amped down till there’s practically nothing to pursue.

Catch & Release

This is just as it reads. You find someone who you perceive as a “catch” and later “release” them because you figure out you have no real connection. A Catch & Release is situationally mutual and leaves no one feeling hurt.

Love Bombing

This is when an interest shows you a lot of affection and attention until you agree to commit to a relationship. The “bombing” follows soon after when they withdraw suddenly and show extremely opposite intentions such as toxicity or cruelty.

Cuffing Season

This is typically during the cold “ember months” when we also say that there’s “weather for two”.  The cuffing is derived from “handcuffs” to suggest that you are physically attached to your other. Typically, the season passes which means you can also detach if you so wish. This is probably common with casual hookups and flings.

Catfishing

Catfishing is when a person uses a fake profile and identity to extort money. Unfortunately, this sort of situation could go on for years without an actual meeting IRL.

Kittenfishing

A lot like catfishing but not quite, kittenfishing is when a person lies or gives incorrect information about themselves. It could be overstating what you have or who you are to impress your interest.

Whelming

This new term just popped up on Bumble, one of the most popular dating sites right now. Apparently, a lot of men are quick to tell a new match that they are just “overwhelmed” by how many women are interested in them. Whelming was coined because the women are rightly irritated with this initial reaction.

This addition to your social vocabulary hopefully helps you navigate these savage online streets like an expert. Cheers to healthy, fruitful, and rewarding relationships!

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