My First Time 2.0 #13

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Poster for the second edition of Culture Custodian's yearly feature, My First Time

So there was this girl that I had been talking to. She’s Nigerian but goes to school in Atlanta so it was perfect for me because I stay up late so at like 4am, it’s like 10pm over there so I never got bored at night and I could finally sing “Panda” proudly and mean it when I said “I’ve got broads in Atlanta”.

To be honest she was fun to talk to so we kept on talking and then we both got to Nigeria this summer for the holidays. Now the first time I realised that this babe had caught feelings for me was at this party that my friend was hosting. She was waved and kept calling my name and I could see it in her eyes that she wanted me. At that moment I knew that I had fucked up because my Yoruba Demon instincts should have kicked in back when I was facetiming her and warned me that this would happen but they didn’t.

This was a problem for me because this year I was on a mission. My summer body had finally come after months of preparation and I wanted to give as many babes as possible. I was going for a world record for giving. Even Oxfam would struggle to give more than me. But this girl is in the same circle of friends as me so at every outing she would dull my rocks by preventing me from going to other babes as if we’re married or some shit.

One night after grinding this girl for the whole night, I realised I had had enough. I was tired of all this small small grinding and kissing. I’m not in year 9, I’m grown fam. Even my little cousin was enjoying more than me and he’s 14. I got home, downed a few shots of that Henny XO and texted this b.

I said “Look, we’ve been kissing and all that shit but I need more”. She was now like “How far do you wanna go?” At this point the Henny fully took over my soul and I said “Down to fuck?”. I threw my phone onto the floor at that point and was preparing for the biggest L of my life. My phone vibrated and I picked it up and she said… “Sure with the scheming emoji”.

I was fully gassed. I started doing push ups and shit because I needed to be looking great for the fucking. I got to her house at around 10 and I was ready. I only had 2 hours because I had family over and I couldn’t be out all night so I told her to skip all the small talk and start sucking my dick.

She said she had only given head once before but she must have been lying because she nearly sucked my soul out of my body. It was so good. I fingered her and she got wet pretty quickly and it was just time for me to slide my dick in and finesse her destiny.

I put my condom on and was ready to enter but she said she wanted to make out for a bit longer so we did but then she took my condom off. I was confused because I thought she was having second thoughts about fucking and then all of a sudden she gets on her back and says “I’m ready”. I was hard before but when she said that, my dick was like titanium.

I get on top of her and I’m trying to put this thing in but the babe yanned me that I put it in the wrong whole so I’m like shit sorry and I’m there, trying to get my dick in her pussy but it’s so difficult and the girl keeps on yanning me that it’s in her ass. I’m not a dickhead, I know the difference between a pussy and an asshole so I’m like are you sure? And she’s like yeah.

So for 45 minutes I’m there tryna put this thing in her pussy and I finally do and do you know what this bitch yans me? “Oh it wasn’t my ass after all”. I was livid so I didn’t even try to ease it in; I went all in and stuck my dick all up inside her. She now starts yanning me “Babe it hurts” and I’m just like “Just chest it”.

I have 40 minutes left until I have to leave so for 35 minutes I’m trying really hard to cum but it’s just not happening and I’m surprised because that either means I’ve got mad stamina or her pussy was dead. I sha had to come out and yan the babe to just give me head and hand until I cum but 5 minutes pass and it’s time for me to leave and I still haven’t come. So I just start wanking as fast as I can. Like if the flash masturbated, that’s how fast I was going.

I’m about to cum and I tell her to start sucking so she does and I cum in her mouth which was lit. Spitting is so disrespectful. She then tries to kiss me as I’m getting ready to leave because I’m fucking late and my phone is going off but I obviously had to deny the kiss because she has cum breath. So I hug her and grab her ass and Uber home. I don’t know if it was her or me but the sex didn’t seem that great to be honest but now that’s out of the way and now I’m ready for University.

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