I cheated. I cheated two days ago when I bought fries from a burger shop knowing damn well they use the same oil to fry their chicken. I cheated again yesterday when I ate three rice cakes after reading the warning label on the pack, which said that it may contain traces of milk. I know cheating is bad but my thinking is as a Muslim I should stay away from any form of extremism. Therefore, I have chosen to be more flexible about this.
Ok. The real reason is I was very hungry both times and… yeah, the rest is history.
Guess who no longer has any animal products in her fridge or food cupboard! I threw out my pesto, seasoning, and all the other stuff that I had that weren’t vegan. I think the loss of my stock cubes is what would be hardest for me to deal with. People think I can cook well. They say so. However, my secret is chicken stock and now that I won’t have that anymore what will become of me and my identity? I’ll miss chicken stock more than actual chicken but fish sauce is what I’ll miss the most. I should write a special post about this and call it “An Ode to Fish Sauce”. It will be amazing.
My heart aches, and a drowsy numbness pains
As I toss you aside and leave you behind, fish sauce
I opened your cap and poured your contents down the drain
Tearfully I walk on. Into the embrace of almond milk and hummus
I couldn’t figure out what to eat for dinner today. That doesn’t happen often. Usually the problem is I’m spoiled for options and I can’t settle on one thing. This time I had no idea what to cook. I’m trying to avoid being lazy and just making my usual recipes sans meat. I want to experiment with different species of beans, grains, etc. so I’m doing a lot of research. I read somewhere that there’s such a thing as non-dairy cheese so I went to Waitrose to hunt for the mozzarella variety. No luck. The pack I found said that the cheese is lactose-free but milk was listed as one of the ingredients. I didn’t expect this to be quantum physics but it apparently is. I left the cheese there for them.
My observation for the week is carnivores are very insensitive towards my people. I have not been able to scroll up any social media timeline without seeing 15 million photos of cooked dead cow. It’s obscene. There’s something psychological happening, I have become disgusted by the look and smell of meat. You know like when you decide you’re done with a fuckboy and he starts looking ugly? I like this development though because if I’m disgusted by meat I’m less likely to eat it.
Love,
Aisha.
P.S. I’ve told people on the Internet that I’m vegan but I haven’t come out to my family or my acquaintances yet. Is there a procedure? I’m shy.
P.P.S. None of my friends have been surprised by my news. They all say it’s behaviour they expect from me. I’m slightly offended. I try very hard to be mysterious but people keep telling me that I’m predictable.
P.P.P.S. I “borrowed” the first line of that ode from John Keates. (I’m an academic I can’t beat the urge to reference)