The Lagos Big Boy Checklist

Rapper, Ajebutter 22’s latest single Lagos Big Boy is a satirical twist on the movers and shakers of the Lagos Establishment. His recent pictures have highlighted certain things we regard as being the trademark of the Lagos Big Boy. The pictures stemming from a collaboration with August Udoh. They focus on 3 Lagos Big Boy themes- Hustling, Blowing Money Fast and Womanizing.

Find below a Lagos Big Boy checklist;

Latest iPhone

He’s not a BIG boy if he still uses an iPhone 6s. Despite the senselessness of the 7, the BIG boys will buy it like that. The true BIG boys are the ones Kevin Gates was singing about when he said “I got two phones, one for the plug and one for the load” because they genuinely have two iPhone 7s in their hand or maybe one 7 and one 7 plus.

Sending your complimentary card with drinks to girls: What’s the point of introducing yourself when your card can do that for you?

I’m just praying so I can one day park my car inside Sip uno

— Kah-Lo (@thatKahLo) June 3, 2015

Parking spot in Sip, Quilox & Escape

No true BIG boy can claim to be BIG without owning a parking spot inside Escape, Quilox and most of all Sip (because their bouncers don’t have sense and so for them to open their gate for you you’re very BIG). And yeah, true big boys aren’t in Vapors. That place is for aspiring BIG boys, God Bless Their Hustle.

A Table in said clubs

Absolutely no BIG boy goes clubbing and hops from table to table. With that said, your favorite musician may not be as big as you thought. The true BIG boys have “RESERVED” on their table and even if they’ve not shown up at 2am, that table will still remain untouched.

Face recognition at said clubs

They’re known by the bouncers at these clubs. It goes like this, you the unknown guys stand at the door and wait for them to let you in, the BIG boys show up and it’s like they have one kind of a smell because of their strong cologne but on smelling that cologne, the bouncers clear iyalaya everybody to ensure that the people who will actually give them good money at the end make their way in.

MOPOL to smooth life.

BIG boys roll with one mopol too because they can’t be carrying their phones themselves. And their MOPOL are not to be messed with because won le tase eyan at any damn time.

Customized Plate Number

If you think you’re BIG and you still have plate number that shows IKY or AAA, you’ve clearly lost the plot. A big boy boasts of a plate number that you’ve never before seen because its customized or because they’ve used black leather something to cover it.

Plenty of FX that they even start using as cigarette

The sign of a true BIG boy is someone who always wants to pay you in $$. Even as this Buhari economy has tough reach, the true BIG boys don’t feel it. You know how Olamide said Pound Sterling lawa fin se tissue? The BIG boys use it as tissue as well as cigar!