Lagos Big Girl Checklist

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Ajebutter dropped a track in November titled Lagos Big Boy. That track inspired a Lagos Big Boy checklist from us and because we believe in equality we’ve decided to create a Lagos Big Girl checklist.

The ladies could use the Big Boy checklist to gauge their boyfriend’s positions and now the men get to use this to gauge their girlfriends’ positions.

1. Malaysian or Indian Hair

If your WCW is donning Brazilian hair then to be honest she’s nowhere near as big as she should be. The real big girls rock Malaysian/Indian hair. If you want to fight me on behalf of your WCW you’re welcome but apparently, Brazilian hair isn’t the most costly so sorry. 

2. Side hustle mula

If she doesn’t have her own $$ then to be very honest, she’s no different from you, her struggling bae. The true big girls aren’t flattered by your Christian Louboutins or YSL bags cos their money is longer and they can buy themselves these things. Oh and this mula is not from one sugar daddy who takes her to Dubai and gave her a shop in Lekki. She’s an independent woman, beloved. 

3. iPhone 7 Plus

Yeah, they have the iPhone 7 Plus. I’m not sure why but it’s never the regular iPhone. Maybe they just like carrying big phone so that their friends can hail them “When you’re big, you’re big!”

4. She filters her online shopping from Highest Price-Lowest Price

If she’s a true member of the club of Lagos Big girls, when she shops online she gives them highest-lowest because she’s focused. 

5. Her Instagram is on 10k and full of beach pictures

Her Instagram is on 10k followers. That’s a prerequisite for the club! Oh yeah she’s always at the beach too, you’ll think she’s goddess of the waters. Mami Water things. 

6. She has table and parking spot at 57, Quilox, Escape and Sip

Don’t think of telling her, “oh you can come to my table at blah blah blah club.” She has her own table at Escape and the champagne is ever flowing. Also, at the gate of the club they know her car so once she pulls up they start hailing “Mama the Mama”. Just for the record, you can’t catch her dead at Vapors.

7. Also, she has table at all the events on the Christmas 2016 Lagos Event Guide!

Yeah, she’s sorted at every event. Even on the 21st where there are three events, if she’s truly big she has a table at every one of them. Even the events where there is no table, for her there is. When they tell you tickets are sold out, the true BIG girls still find.

8. Her makeup is never not peng

She’s big so her makeup kit is on a level your WCW is still trying to reach. Yours is still using Mac and Kylie Cosmetics, the big ones on the other hand are using YSL and Armani foundation! Get on her level mate! Also know your level please. Don’t go trying to get on a level you cannot and then go bankrupt!