Letters to Pain by Lanaire Aderemi
Lady Pain, Gentleman Pain
Welcome to my heart
Oh you are not welcome
That was not a greeting of joy
Nor was it a greeting for your children
I remember you invited me for dinner
Once with them:
Sorrow, sadness and sickness
Those were their names
Lady Pain, Gentleman Pain
You knocked on my door
And I let you come in
And your children were with you
Nooooo , i just remembered the
Deafening cries
Oh, I remember the shrills
Oh, I remember the shrieks
Oh, I remember the screams
Of me.
You knocked on my door
And I let you come in
And your children were with you
Yessss, I just remembered the
Loud laughs
I remember they were for me
I remember they never seemed to end:
From you
To me.
I thought you left me
Alone
Like I wanted
But you’re crawling
You’re walking
You’re running
Towards me
I remember when you
Told us you were pregnant
For the third time
‘I am sick at heart’
That is what I told myself
Please leave me alone
I thought you left me
Like I wanted
But you’re crawling
You’re walking
You’re running
Towards me
Please go.
You ran away
Once
When I (the pottery)
Talked to the potter
But you’ve come
With packs of Kleenex
And memories I prayed
Died
So what do you want
From me?
Is it the tears that your
First child gave me?
Is it the sadness you
brought in the form of your Second?
Is it the malaria your
Third child gave me?
Leave me alone
Please.
I am as fragile as the stickers on parcels
I am as delicate as the eggs put in one basket
I am as sensitive as the mercury placed on
Every nurse’s desk in your daddy’s hospitals
You ran away
Once
When I (the pottery)
Talked to the potter
But are here again
With rose pocket tissues
And you have clicked the rewind
Button of my mental music player
So get away Pain.
Leave me alone
I do not want to hear:
Your knocks on my door
Your children’s voices
You call my name
I was introduced
to you
before I was conceived
it all began
when my mother
experienced the latent
stage
(oh no, I got it wrong)
It all began
In the form of cramps
Of course, you disguised
Yourself
But joy flowed like a river
When I was born
As I grew you looked
For me
But i resisted
I fought you
I knocked you
I pinched you
I punched you
I hit you
I slapped
Your faceless self
And you screamed in Agony
Yes, that was your language.
END