I had been seeing this older guy for sometime now and we had spoken about having sex a few times but obviously it wasn’t going to happen until I was ready. Honestly, I actually didn’t find the whole idea a big deal, I just wanted to know what the whole fuss was about with this “sex” thing. So on a random night when I was at his, I decided (on my own) that I would like to lose my virginity to him. I wish someone had advised me better because it was one of the most awkward and most painful things I have ever experienced. I was just thinking “Eww! How can anyone enjoy this?”. He was really experienced so in a way, I guess that helped. I didn’t understand how his penis was actually going to fit but he used lube and this helped. When he put it in the first time, my whole body jumped, I immediately pushed him away. I pushed him away a few times until I got comfortable with the idea of his penis even trying to be around that area. Eventually he did put it in.
I felt so uncomfortable and there was no pleasure what so ever!! It was not like it is in the movies at all!! I was just in pain throughout. I wanted it to be over as soon as it started. Eventually it did end, and I just lay there staring into the darkness not even being able to speak. He must have felt pretty awkward ‘cos I hella did. We used a condom so that could possibly have been responsible for my discomfort.
It was pretty weird after. I mean, I could hardly speak. I got out of bed and took a shower. We watched a movie and then I slept. So unromantic I know. I do wish I had waited but he was such a gentleman so that helped.