Nigerian Lives: 4 Dates From Hell

Every week, Culture Custodian talks to Nigerians who share tidbits about their lives. This time, we have four women telling us about their worst dating experiences:

Kaffy, 27

I met him in school; he worked there. He said he liked me and would love to get to know me. I told him I didn’t like him but he said it didn’t matter that he’d love to take me out, maybe I’d change my mind. I didn’t agree initially, but I did after much persuasion.

We went out to a restaurant that he chose. we spent the whole time talking about him, his wealth and his family connections. He ordered about 3 bottles of beer while I got water. After the beer, he got tipsy and started going on and on about how much he ‘liked’ me. He asked me to say something, then I told him I didn’t like him.

This guy got aggressive, hit the table and yelled at me that he was ready to change my life with money and I’m here forming hard-to-get. This got everybody’s attention as they all turned to look. Then he apologized. When I was ready to leave, my phone went off while trying to order a ride. I asked him to order a ride for me, he raised his voice again saying I was not leaving until he was.

To be honest, I was terrified and shocked. He kept apologizing on our way back. When we got to my hostel, he asked for a kiss. I hurried out of the car and went into my hostel. He sent a text saying he knew girls like me, whatever that meant. That was the first and last time. I blocked him afterwards.

Onome, 24

I had lunch with this guy at Cheese Cake, Dubai Mall. Since I was shopping, ‘Oga’ decided to order a meal for me. (Who sent him?) The drama started when I finished shopping and went to join him where were supposed to have the meal. Mine came first and I was quite tired.

He had unwrapped his fork, I thought it was for me. To my surprise, he dragged my meal to his side and started eating. He asked me why I hadn’t unwrapped my cutlery, I answered, “because you’re eating my food”. He finished my food. When they brought his fitfam dish, he said I should eat it. I picked out the bits of salmon and left the mashed potatoes. He still took the food and ate it. Tragic!

Alessia, 27

I was talking to a guy on Tinder. We were so excited about meeting up. He picked me up from my home, we spoke for a bit, then we decided on a particular restaurant that would be easy for both of us to settle and get there on time. We were talking, but the conversation wasn’t all that much because we were just trying to get to know each other. We ate almost in silence and we said some things to each other. I remember having a bad feeling about it, but I brushed it off, regardless. After eating, I realized I was only here ‘for coming sake’.

The guy requested separate bills for him and me. I was wondering what had happened, only for him to say we were paying for our bills individually. I found that weird because that was not our agreement. I told him I would not pay and there was nothing he was going to do about it. We kept arguing back and forth. I silently ordered my taxi. Immediately the driver called he was outside, I stood up to walk out. The guy stood up and dragged my bag. I struggled until I was free, then ran outside to get my taxi.

The guy stood at the exit, in front of the taxi saying we won’t go until I paid. I felt very disgraced because the taxi guy was getting upset. I begged him to lock the car doors. We stood there for almost 30 minutes, but he was disrupting other people. The owners of the restaurant came to resolve the issue. My taxi guy saw it as an avenue to drive out and he did. That was how I escaped that situation.

Laura 25

We started texting on Telegram from a book club. He tried to get to know me and I think we went out too quickly. If not, why would we go on a date and a guy is telling me I should not eat too much? I’m a size 14 and comfortable with the size. When we got to the restaurant, I ordered a starter because I was starving and we all know the food takes 30 minutes to get ready.

I ate and requested a drink. The main course arrived. I ate all I could because this life is only one. The guy reacted by reading the risks of obesity to me. I was so upset! I kept trying to reiterate that I’m not obese and I was comfortable with my weight. He said his mom wouldn’t like a fat girl; I was like “bro, who told you I wanted to meet yo mama? You saw my picture before inviting me out.” I made sure I ate and left immediately after I was done.

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