Nigerian Lives: 5 Women Talk About Getting Abortions

The Society of Gynaecologists and Obstetricians of Nigeria estimates that each year, about 20,000 Nigerian women die from unsafe abortions. In a world where technological and medical advancements continue to progress at a rapid rate, it is concerning that many countries, including Nigeria, maintain strict and restrictive laws governing access to abortion.  Access to safe and legal abortion services remains limited, and even when available, the prohibitively high costs make it inaccessible to many women. This reality is both tragic and absurd — the difference between a woman’s life going the way she wants versus being irrevocably altered, solely depends on her ability to obtain essential healthcare. In the worst cases, women who have been victims of sexual assault are further victimized by being denied the right to terminate a pregnancy resulting from their assault. The idea that a woman should be forced to carry and give birth to a child she may ultimately resent is a harrowing violation of bodily autonomy. 

Culture Custodian spoke to five Nigerian women who bravely shared their personal experiences navigating the complex process of obtaining abortions. 

Naomi, 23

The sex wasn’t fully consensual. It was at first and then he became too forceful. I told him I was in pain but he didn’t stop. The next morning, I took a post-pill, which didn’t work because I found out I was pregnant exactly 2 weeks and 2 days later. It was 5 days to my birthday. I didn’t even miss my period. I dreamt that I was pregnant so I took a test and yeah, I was. 

I had heard about Marie Stopes but it was too expensive, and I couldn’t afford it. So my friend gave me the contact of a pharmacist. He gave me Misoprostol and a very strong painkiller. I paid about 35k for everything, lodged in a cheap hotel, and went ahead with the abortion. The pain was minimal because the fetus was very young. The bleeding was profuse. I bled for almost two weeks. 

I told my mother after I had done it. My friends knew. I felt a bit judged because no one came to be with me during the process. I did it alone. All in all, I think it was an experience I needed to have. I am completely numb about it. I used to feel like people could see my secret on my face, but now I just don’t care. I did what I had to do. Abortions should be legalized, I would have had better aftercare and not been so hush-hush about it. Abortions are not very safe right now because it’s illegal and risky. Personally, a baby would have ruined my life so taking that risk was worth it.

Gold, 23

I took pills in my own case, very early on. I missed my period and was a few weeks pregnant. I didn’t tell the father or family because I was not ready for it and would never dream of trapping anyone into a family line. If you are not ready to care for a baby (emotionally, financially, psychologically), please do not have a baby. Abortion may be a crime, but the weight of an unwanted baby you are not ready for is much worse and can never be reversed.

Nimi, 25

I got pregnant in March 2023. I was on the pill but it failed. I knew immediately in my gut but I dismissed the feeling for 2 weeks before I finally decided to take a test. I was on an emotional rollercoaster for days before I told the guy. I’d already decided not to keep it and I let him know. He agreed and gave me the money to do it. I tried the pills first but they didn’t work. Apparently, it doesn’t work for some people. 

Then I had to go out of state for the surgical removal. It was very painful. I slept for hours after. A week after the procedure, I found out that the baby daddy had been talking to someone else the whole time I was pregnant and when I removed it. I’d already had a feeling but I ignored it (never doing that again). So I was recovering from the abortion and heartbreak. It was a horrible time for me and I’m glad I’ve almost completely healed from it.

I felt guilty and depressed for a long time even though I knew I’d made the right decision. I second-guessed myself for so long. My mental health was in shambles. If not for my sister and best friend, I don’t know what I’d have done. I don’t want to have kids at all and I can’t have the BLT surgery until I’m 30+ so I have to wait. I highly encourage women to have abortions if having a baby isn’t ideal at the moment. For a while, I felt lost, guilty, and unworthy of love. But now I’m over the guy and I’m 100% confident I made the right decision and I’m at peace with it.

Chioma, 27

I’m a pharmacist, so it was pretty easy to smuggle stuff to use. Told my partner at the time, who suggested I keep it, without anything concrete like marriage. I did it alone. I knew I couldn’t care for a child at the time. Also, I couldn’t trust my parents not to force me into something I didn’t want. I think abortion should absolutely be made legal. It’s healthcare for women and should be treated as such. 

Kim, 33

The illegality in Nigeria did not affect my decision, I went to Marie Stopes, Abuja. I am very pro-abortion. The father was aware and involved. I did not tell my parents though, because even though I stand by my decision, they are much more religious and won’t understand. I did not tell anyone else what I was doing apart from one close female friend and she was supportive. I haven’t felt judged so far.

Abortions should absolutely be legal. Nobody should be having a child they’re not prepared for. While abortions should be a fundamental right, mine was quite expensive. I could afford it but I couldn’t help but think of other women who would have been more desperate than I was, with no support from the man, like I had. My total bill was 80k plus, and I kept thinking how privileged I was to afford that because for many people that amount would have been the difference between having an unwanted, more expensive child, or going to have an unsafe procedure by a quack.

The freedom to plan your life, the empowerment to choose whether or not to be a mother, is something every woman should have access to whether they need it or not.