Nigerian Lives: 5 Women Talk About Their Nightlife Experiences

Work hard, play hard, is an adage as old as time. After the grind of daily responsibilities, unwinding becomes not just a luxury, but a necessity. For many, weekends transform into playgrounds of relaxation and revelry. Yet, beneath the pulsing lights and pounding beats, some revelers —particularly women— encounter moments that forever alter their perception of nightlife.

Culture Custodian delved into the after-dark experiences of five women, uncovering stories they keep to their hearts.

Precious, 22

I would just specify it as delightful or horrific because there are good and bad times. I don’t even like going to clubs with guys. Even if he is my partner, because I won’t be myself. I love to go with my friends, I feel free. There is so much happiness I derive from drinking and dancing with my friends. I encourage everybody to drink at the club. It’s what makes it the club. Now, the part that irritates me about club culture is the mentality that women shouldn’t come to the club with just their friends. That men must accompany us or we must be accompanied by men. When you are with men there is so much respect, you are given a space and so on, and it feels like you belong there. It’s basically sexist, they operate with the belief that women cannot afford this without men. 

This forces me to tag along with men. Or when I get there I search for men I know. This mindset club hosts have cultivated causes men talk to women with no respect at the club, because they believe you need them. They even ask you to follow them home. Nonetheless, this folly will never stop me from going to the club. I love the club. Some days you just want to dance and forget your troubles and the club provides that space sufficiently.

Ash, 23 

All my experiences in the club are seen as “out of my comfort zone” generally. Maybe because I’m introverted, or maybe because men are scary predators. Maybe it’s a mixture of both. I’m not usually one to dance in public, but I do it with my friends because it’s fun when it’s just us. Then some strange man sneaks in and now we’re all guarding each other from him. There were a few times I went out with some older friends, and they were freely dancing with the most random guys and even tried to persuade me to also do the same as they would take us out. 

On a particular event, it was older men. I was told by the group of girls I came with to “dance with them oh, they have money, don’t be doing shy shy.” And I kept wondering how we were going to get whatever money if I danced with them. Will they take my number and want to date me and keep sending me money? Or what was the plan? I had somewhat preserved myself from this life over the years and was very inexperienced in this area. One huskily whispered “50k for a night” in my ear while circling me and trying to grab my waist. I was so upset, I went to the restroom and texted my friends that I wanted to go home, but the rest of the party kept dragging on from 2am till 4:30 am. 

One took my number and outrightly told me “see you tomorrow before I travel back to Alaska to my wife and kids.” He didn’t ask if I wanted to see him or not. Is this how controlling older men are? What do you mean by wife and kids? Men are so disrespectful and disgusting. Cheating openly is so disrespectful to both parties, the wife and the side chick. Although I won’t lie, I’ve had a few great experiences at the club. But they were experienced with girls. Dancing and vibing and having so much fun. I wish there were all girls clubs. Non sexual, non-lesbian. Just go there, have fun, feel safe and come home. To also add, I hardly ever drink so much at clubs. I don’t want anybody taking advantage of me. Never been tipsy at a club. I always just sip sip and take care of my drunk friends through the night. That’s my job there.

Chikitodo, 30

My nightlife experience led to my very first police experience, although it was not exactly official. I just gained admission into Unilag, and I was opportuned or unfortunate enough to follow my roommates at one particular time. They were used to the nightlife, but I was a JJC. This was around 2011. We went to Lagos Country Club, and it was fun, I had a nice time. The problem started when we were coming back. We had to pass through Ikeja, and you know Ikeja is known as the home of sex workers parading the streets. So the cab we took was stopped by the police. They asked us for our ID cards, because they assumed we were sex workers. I was the only one with my student ID card. So we didn’t have any way to prove we were actually unilag students and they bundled all of us to the police station. I was already crying and afraid of them calling my daddy. But the ladies called the host of the party and we got out. It was my first exposure and that experience will probably stay with me for life.

Tolu, 24

My first experience was at 100 level. I went with a friend who was in 200 level then and one guy we met in school. Let’s call him David. He was one of the promo guys for a club and invited us. We went to his place first, and he arranged transport to the club. On the way there, we got stopped by police officers, and they searched him. They let him go, and he gets back in the car. He starts laughing with the driver, telling him he’s glad he had wiped his phone that morning. That’s when I realized that I should’ve stayed in my hostel. We get to the club, and it’s pretty slow at first. My friend and I had to step out later because people were smoking, and we were both asthmatic. While we’re outside, one random guy approaches us. He starts telling us we’re pretty, he has a hotel room in a place up the hill, and we should come and spend the night and swim. And we say no. He starts going on about how he works at MTV and how we can be video vixens, and then he starts getting grabby. We eventually got out of that via a fight, it was really messy. 

Chinelo, 22

A friend of mine was having a game night kind of thing with a few friends and she invited me over. It was really fun and we drank a lot. And so it’s going well until we’re all very drunk from partying. I lay down next to my friend on the bed, the host is sitting on a chair trying to make sure everyone is okay and then I feel a man on my back. I’m laying face down on the bed and I’m passing in and out of consciousness and I feel this man grinding in my ass and trying to sleep with me. When that didn’t work, I think he tried to have sex with my thighs. I got up, still groggy, and headed to the toilet. It was months after I realized I had been sexually assaulted, and I hate that night all over again.