Sex Diaries Vol. 12: How a 23-year-old Male Photographer Boarded The BDSM Train

Jace is a 23-year-old Abuja-based professional photographer whose first sexual encounter on a family vacation involved some BDSM. He was 18 years old at the time. BDSM is an acronym for sexual practices involving bondage, discipline, sadism, masochism, or simply put domination and submission. In this week’s sex diaries, Jace shares two of his steamiest kinky encounters yet:

Day 1 (5 years earlier)

On one long holiday, my family and I had to travel to the U.K to go see my older sister. My sister, Janet was running her masters program in the U.K and was about to have her graduation ceremony, so the entire family decided to go celebrate her. The next day was my sister’s graduation, So my mum went with her to the mall to get clothes and other stuff she needed for the occasion.

Day 2

My cousin and decided to go use the hotel pool because we wanted a swim but for some reason he ditched me and I was left by myself. I still wanted to go with the pool plan, so I pulled on a pair of swim shorts and a white towel and headed for the pool. As I got to the entrance of the pool, I noticed that the majority of the people hanging around were all white. I had never felt so self-conscious in my life, I immediately turned to leave but ran into a group of white girls instead. I noticed that they looked slightly older than me, yeah they had young-looking faces but their bodies were quite developed and they were taller. I figured they must have probably been about two or three years older than I was. To my surprise, they greeted me and were quite friendly, completely fascinated that I was a black guy and all. Then one, in particular, asked why I was in a hurry to leave, I was a little confused at first. It was a bit tricky to hear through her British accent but I figured it out somehow. The conversation started to flow. She found almost everything I said funny and I couldn’t help but find that funny, too. Before I knew it, I was completely at ease with her. We exchanged names and contacts and decided to see again the following day.

Day 3 

After my sister’s graduation, we had to stay one more day because she had a party she wanted to attend with her friends after the whole official graduation ceremony. I was sharing a room with my older sister and brother but was alone for the time being as they had other things to do. I heard a knock on the door and went to open it thinking it was regular room service. I was in for a surprise because it was my newly found white friend, Sophie. I was quite shocked since I didn’t remember telling her what room I was staying in. Turns out she had traced me and found out where I stayed. She came in and seemed very excited to see me. I matched the energy and we got talking for a while. I got to know she was just a year older than me, 19, and she was in college. She bragged a bit about getting into some college but I only understood about a quarter of what she was saying at that point. Suddenly she started to get really touchy which kind of confused me because I was inexperienced and figured she probably was. She was quite close to me, so close I noticed how pretty her eyes were, the brown was so clear I could see my reflection in them. All in all, Sophie was very pretty and I was totally into her. 

How it started

She turned off the TV, then excused herself to go to the restroom. I was completely stunned when she came out of the restroom naked. Then it got super weird when she asked me how she looked, I was at a loss for words. What was I supposed to say? I tried to get myself together and told her she looked good but I still asked her why she had taken off her clothes though. She replied with another question, “are you irritated?” I told her I wasn’t but knowing where she was headed I confessed that I was a virgin and didn’t have enough experience about stuff like this. Her shoulders dropped slightly and I knew she was disappointed at what I had told her. She started to head back to the restroom but I stopped her and asked why she was leaving. She had the impression that I didn’t know anything at all but that wasn’t exactly true. I let her know that I had done other stuff even though I hadn’t actually had sex before. That seemed to pique her interest so she got closer to me, eager to find out what I could do. She basically ordered me to take off my clothes and all but I didn’t adhere. I mean, being an African man, I had my ego, I was not going to be ordered around, I was going to do this my way. She laughed at my stubbornness then whispered in my ear for me to do what I claimed I was capable of. Well, I did, I kissed her (my first time kissing a white babe) and her lips were so soft. If I could keep a part of her it’d definitely be those lips.

Trying to prove myself to her, I parted her legs and went down on her. I fingered her as I ate her out and her moans spurred me on. After enough foreplay, she was impressed and satisfied but told me she felt that I wasn’t satisfied. Honestly, I wasn’t, she had gotten all the action and I hadn’t. She simply asked me to stay calm trying to take things slow and gentle since it was my first time. We talked again for a while and when she felt I was completely at ease, she made her move. She took the lead and I was basically submissive to her as she handled my dick and started to ride me. She gave me an amazing time and opened up my mind to the BDSM fantasy. I enjoyed the sex and enjoyed the fact that she pulled off being a dominant female with ease. However, I was left with an unsated curiosity. How would it feel if I was the dominant? From that moment I knew the next time I had sex, things were going to be different. I had to feel what Sophie felt when she dominated me.

5 years later

Tinuke and I had a casual relationship after I broke up with my ex. I have always had a fetish for ladies with piercings – nose ring, tongue ring, belly button and the like. Tinuke with her nose and tongue piercings perfectly fit into that category, making her all the more attractive to me. I always knew she was into BDSM but I hadn’t just found a way to trigger that side of her yet. We usually had fun together, but it was just vanilla sex, nothing kinky. I wanted something more from her and I knew it could happen if I could just figure out a way to set it up. One day she came around my apartment and we got talking. We were both drinking and just like me, she smokes, too. With the nice vibe, she suggested we play a game. The game went like this: if you are asked a question that you could not answer, you had to drink. I told her it was too easy and suggested it would be better if we also removed an item from our bodies in addition to the drinking. She found it cool and agreed with it. We jumped into the game and started to play. She was trying to keep her cool until I got shirtless at a point and noticed the way she was staring at me. With the look she had on her face, I knew at that moment in time I could initiate something and it would fly. I had seen her posts and the nudes she sent to me. She had sent me pictures of her dressed in her choker and other BDSM gear with her whip lying around. I knew she had it in it and all I had to do was bring that side out. The game was still going on and Tinuke had not taken off any piece of clothing. She just kept answering my questions with a bunch of confidential stuff I was not exactly interested in so I threw a question at her. I asked her what part she plays the most in her BDSM sexcapades, dominant or submissive? She did not give me a straight answer but we continued the game anyway. I used another tactic on her and asked her what triggers her submissive side. That worked perfectly as she let me know that she got triggered by guys ordering her around with full confidence. After that, I told her I wanted to take a break from the game so I could get us more drinks.

How it went

I drank and smoked for a while before turning my attention to her. Before Tinuke, I had had other BDSM encounters so I knew I was a dominant. I got to my feet and ordered her to ‘get the fuck up’. She was slightly taken aback and told me what I said was rude. I acknowledged the fact that it was but still ordered her to get up without giving any impression that I was joking. Seeing the seriousness in my eyes, she acquiesced and got to her feet. I walked away then turned back to her and ordered her to take off everything she was wearing. She asked if I was kidding, a bit surprised at my request. I answered with a question asking, “did I stutter?” I repeated the command and told her to take off every damn thing she was wearing. Suddenly she cast her eyes down and followed my command. She took off everything but forgot to remove her earrings and wristwatch. I told her she had been disobedient and had to go on her knees. She went on her knees and asked me, “Lord, what have I done?” I told her she didn’t know how to follow instructions to which she said, “but I have done all my Lord has asked.” “Everything?” I inquired. “Yes,” came her reply. I asked her to stretch out her hands, got my keys and restrained her, then asked her to watch as I took off the things she failed to remove.

I took off her wristwatch and earrings, she started to smile and asked why I was being so strict. I told her it was just an instruction she was meant to follow and she failed to. She replied, “how am I to be punished?” I pulled her to her feet and restrained her right hand to her right leg and vice versa. I usually keep racks of ice cubes in my fridge so I got them out and started to use them on her. I put one on her pierced belly button, I left one dripping on her clitoris and I put the last one on her nipple. She was shivering even though I had given her clear instructions not to shiver so I took the ice on her clit and started to use it to fuck around with her as a form of punishment. After a short while, she started to beg for me to fuck her so I took off her restraints, then asked her to go on her knees and suck me off, ordering her not to gag while she was at it. Of course, she gagged and it was that act of disobedience that led to the actual sex. I bent her over and began to fuck her hard. Deep punishing strokes at first for her disobedience, then slower strokes for her pleasure. I pulled out to restrain her again and she whimpered, wanting more. After restraining one of her hands, I got on top of her and started to ride her with one hand on her throat choking her out and the other fondling her boobs. Her moans made me fuck her harder until she was screaming.

I took her by the hair and instructed her to get on top of me and ride. Her waist game was crazy and I took off her restraint and let her ride me in reverse cowgirl style. I cuffed her hands and legs together again in a way that spread her out completely to me then I started to fuck her hard. She started to scream and I knew she was about to climax so I thrust harder and harder until she did. I felt my own orgasm start to build up too and as I started to cum, she pulled me out of her and took my dick in her mouth, taking in every drop of my loads. What I had with Tinkue was mind-blowing and I would definitely do it again.

This article is based on real-life events. Names used are mere pseudonyms to protect the identities of the individuals mentioned in the report.

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