Linda Ikeji Award for Best Humbling
Oluwamayowa Idowu: The entire institution that is Liverpool Football Club. Hahahahahaha! I make no pretensions about being a hater. As the Premier League season wound down, I was unequivocal in my desire to see Liverpool fail. As a byproduct of their success in the 80s, a vast majority of television pundits and the written press have Liverpool ties. It’s always nice to see them sad. Watching the build up to that game against Chelsea, it was like Liverpool were merely awaiting their coronation as Champions. The 25th anniversary of the Hillsborough disaster also played up to this. Jose Mourinho, one of the great provocateurs of our time would not be having it. He played a weakened team, with one eye on a Champions League semi final but had drilled them well enough to resist the Scousers. Steven Gerrard’s slip inspired a million memes and seemed poetic considering he had been on camera weeks earlier screaming “this doesn’t f***ing slip now”. That derailed the title bid but the main course would come via Tony Pulis’ Crystal Palace. Now, this game happened to come in the middle of my final exam preparations. A period where I had no way of communicating with the outside world.
On the day of the game, I was holed up in the library with no idea how it was progressing. I left for my flat so I could catch Match of the Day without knowing how it had panned out. Match of the Day comes on and the pundits on display are ex Liverpool and Man City duo: Robbie Fowler and Dietmar Hammann. They looked glum. My mind started to wander. Had Liverpool blown it? The highlights begin and Liverpool take a 3-0 lead. I’m confused. Liverpool are coasting so why didn’t the pundits have that smug look that tends to be a common occurrence on their faces? Palace pulled one goal back and I said to myself “Cute effort, Palace”. They get another one and I start laughing out loud in an “If what I think is happening is actually happening” way. And then the third goal went in and I lost it. I laughed so much I wanted to cry. Months later, the Guardian writer Daniel Taylor highlights that about 7 books have been written on the Liverpool team of last season and the constant motif is the idea of a side that inspired dreams. Imagine how unbearable they’d have been if they won the damn thing.
Temitayo Ayorinde: That republican chick that tried to shame the first family via Obama’s daughters.
Amaka Onyemenam: Democrats v Republicans.
Demola Fashola: Linda Ikeji. I’m sorry she’s a twat who carries irrelevant news and encourages cyber-bullying on her site. I hate schadenfreude but it was great to see her get a taste of her own medicine.